saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize