I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
