She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
