operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Randomize
