had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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