I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
