This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
