last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
