i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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