who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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