Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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