i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I need moral support for this bender
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
