The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
