I wanna passion pit in your ass
I looked at my own cervix.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
