you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
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