ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
