Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
