when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
no, he came in my armpit
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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