I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
