And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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