So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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