yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
he fucked my hip out of place.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
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