it wasn't lemon gatorade
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
