shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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