I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize