my vag is so smooth its legendary
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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