Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
And then he peed in my hair
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