haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
