She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
