yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
