Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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