we have officially lost it.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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