I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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