i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
