Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I don't deserve a penis
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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