i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
