omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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