I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
