Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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