She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
