Life is so much better after having sex.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize