Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
