I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
