the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I woke up under a house in Key West
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