Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
