you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
