dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize