I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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