I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
