I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
