so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
