The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
