your parents love me but you hate me
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
