I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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