We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
