my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
