he wants to bone in the snuggie
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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