I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
