i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
