when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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