I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
