Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
