Is it because I queefed?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
