Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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