I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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