singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
