Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
