New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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